Harrumph

Applied for a job last week, got an interview. I don't think I got it, which sucks, because I really liked the place and the people who interviewed me. It sucks to be THIS CLOSE to getting out of the suckhole I currently work at, and yet so fucking far...

Hmm

This is some of the best writing I've done in a while. I don't know whether to smile or weep.

Also, here is a pretty picture of cactus flowers from my bikeride this weekend:



Also, some sheep butts from the same ride:

Trying

I look for a new job every day.

The economy sucks.

In other news, Vegan Brunch is out and my weekends are about to get a lot better!

Set sail for fail

Did not get into Berkeley. Big surprise.

Maybe this is the Flying Spaghetti Monster's way of telling me I should open a vegan bakery instead.

Still feel shitty.

The thing is, I'm not even that upset that I didn't get in. Honestly the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to do it. I don't have passion or drive to educate, I just like science. That's not what a good teacher is. It was more of a backup plan. It was a way to put off thinking about what I really want to do for a few more years.

So, I guess it's good that I didn't get in?

Still feel shitty.

All of my friends, down here and in Portland, are doing such amazing wonderful things with their lives and are just the best, smartest, most creative and brilliant and passionate people, and it drives me insane with jealousy, because I feel I have nothing to offer them.

Harrumph

Really unhappy with everything right now. Pretty sure I failed the CSET. Feeling like my life is purposeless and a waste of time.

Dunno what's wrong with me.

CSET pt 1 of 3 tomorrow

Yes, it's Meg flips out and stresses about even more tests for grad school time.

This one is the science CSET. The topics? Oh, ALL science, EVER, pretty much.

Bode well, this does not.

That's how you do it Holmes.

Finishing off the last semester of college with straight As. Boom bitch, that's just how I roll.

Everyone cross your fingers for me for the GRE tomorrow.

What the shirt says

Just finished my last final. The ceremony is on Saturday. Woo motherfuckin' hoo.

The Failboat has sailed

96th percentile on the verbal...and 21st on the math.

I don't know why I bother breathing other SMART people's air. Surely they need it.

Preparing to get onboard the Failboat

GRE tomorrow. BOOOOOOOOO. My verbal scores are out of this world but the quantitative (the math) are still putting me in the 50-65 percentile. Which isn't horrible but c'mon folks.

This made me laugh, because that's pretty much what it's like.

Also my throat still hurts. BOOOOOOURNS.

Can't wait for this to be over.

Things to think about

Up late. Feel like I'm possibly becoming ill. Pondering my life, the people in it, my choices, the good and the bad. Wondering if I'm ever going to be happy with ANYTHING. Why do I think I even have a SHOT of getting into this Berkeley program? Am I fucking nuts? What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I just PMSing like crazy?

Am I ever going to figure this shit out?

Been vegan for 10 months now. Go me.

Worker dronez

Moral: ear bugs get into your brain through your ear and make you kill people, which makes you sad



Two and a half more weeks of classes. Then finals. Then Germany. Two huge projects due two weeks from today. Bit stressed. Feel like bursting into tears and/or hurling myself out of a window.

Finals week aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

There is not a language with sufficient depth to describe my lack of motivation right now, or the insane amount of work I should be doing: 1 paper and 3 final tests. "LAAAAAAAME" is about as describe-y as I'm gonna get right now.

I've been in the library for three hours, can you tell?

Oh, one other thing, I'm moving to Berkeley in August. That's pretty cool.

If it weren't for that horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college

Why is it that an article in the Emerald about how anime is destroying children (and satire, at that) gets more outraged comments than the articles about relevent environmental and social issues? Good god. Maybe anime is destroying our children.