Friday, June 26, 2009

Random Things Shouted At Me While Cycling In Berkeley

This may be a regular thing.

#1 - Solidarity
(while riding bicycle through heavy rain/wind)
Me: Grunt.
Guy on Bike Passing in Opposite Direction: YEEEEEEEAAA-HHHHEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHH! *fist pump*

#2 - Whateva whateva
Me: *pausing briefly at stopsign, clear for miles in either direction, moving on*
Douche in Bad Sunglasses: There's a stopsign there, you know!
Me: *happily* Thanks for pointing that out! *zooooooom*
D.i.B.S.: *incomprehensible muttering*

#3 - Ew
Me: *enjoying the sunshine*
Creepy bike salmon driving on wrong side of the road: *leers* HEY THERE SWEET CHEEKS.
Me: *swerves out of way, shudders*

#4 - REALLY EW
Me: *riding in skirt and opaque leggings*
Creeper on bike: *cuts me off going around corner in opposite direction* *screams* I CAN SEE THAT SLIT!!!! ALMOST!!!
Me: Really, you fucking pervert, really?
C.O.B.: *bikes off cackling*
Me: *glare*

#5 - Sort of ew but also funny
Me: *stopped at red light near thrift store at University & California*
Older Dude 1: You ride good today?
Me: Yes, I did, thanks!
Older Dude 1: YOU SHO DID.
Older Dude 2: MMMMM-MMMMM! SHO NUFF.
Older Dude 1: You lookin' FINE today girl.
Older Dude 2: KEEP WORKIN' IT.
Me: *blushing, grinning, rides through intersection, ego feeling quite inflated*

2 comments:

erica said...

The sudden shift to caps in #5 made me laugh quite a lot.

MMMMM-HMMMM. SHO DID.

Maria Rose said...

Wow, that's a respectable collection of weirdo's!